On Being “Dangerous, Harsh, Unsympathetic”
Photo by Nicola Barts
Yesterday I got an email blast from a spiritual entrepreneur talking about how they marketed their $20k program. The message meant to be conveyed was that of simplicity—no fancy marketing campaigns or complicated social media pushes had been required for them to find their soul clients. That was not my take-away, however. My gut reaction was one of repulsion and I am embarrassed to admit I immediately unsubscribed to the newsletter. I think perhaps part of this response was due to timing. It seems that I've been getting many emails from different spiritual entrepreneurs with offerings way out of my price range. So, now that I think about it, my reaction was also probably fueled by anger. Anger that I couldn't afford all of these shiny things...exotic retreats, "intimate containers," etc. The anger and disgust was also prompted by my feeling that this price tag was highway robbery...and in the name of god/spirituality/self-actualization at that. I mean $20k?! That is $5k more than a Texan working full-time on minimum wage makes in a YEAR! Having grown up in a single-parent household that was dependent on welfare and the local food panty, having been food insecure, the electricity sometimes being turned off due to non-payment, being instructed to ration my toilet paper usage—this is the important context that might make my flare of anger a little more understandable. The way people sometimes word these offers can sometimes feel demeaning as well...as though if you aren't willing to go into debt and endanger your family's financial future, then you aren't quite high-vibe enough—you're not ready to up-level and manifest your full potential—you don't believe in yourself enough to "INVEST" in yourself. Okay, maybe I'm getting this out of my system?? Oh wow. Calm down, April.
ANYWAY, point being, this disgust did not feel good in my body; it wasn't sitting well inside. Since I had some time, I pulled out my handy-dandy pocket-sized tarot deck and asked a few questions. I pulled the first card asking for insight into this situation. The card? THE WORLD. For the second card, I asked, "Why don't I like [this email]?" The card: KING OF SWORDS (REVERSED). Even from the first card pull, the "why" behind the prick of my conscience became clear. This particular creator who had sent the email was in abundance and even though my abundance might look different right now, that energy is also something that is available to me at any moment, right now. I can just tap into. I can flip the perspective at any time from one of scarce resources to unlimited resources. I can feel into happiness for this entrepreneur that they are exploring financial abundance, without believing that they are in someway defrauding or guilting others into giving away their precious resources. The keywords for the King of Swords (Reversed), as listed in my tarot app, were: dangerous, harsh, unsympathetic. Dang! Thanks for the call-out, Universe! Ha!
I had been wrong in my dangerous, harsh, unsympathetic, rash judgement, regardless of my socioeconomic conditioning.
The book Seventy-eight Degrees of Wisdom by Rachel Pollack has this to say about the The World card: "A unification of the person's inner sense of being with his or her outer activities."
The next time I am confronted with feelings of not being or having enough, or as though I am being shamed for not being able to participate due to finances, I hope I remember The World card. I hope I can bless (instead of envy or despise) that individual in my heart, whoever they are, and feel happy for them that they are in the abundance that comes with their inner sense of being and their outer activities being aligned—knowing that this kind of abundance is an energy and isn't always financial. I, too, can live in this inner alignment with my outer activities and share in that bounty of the heart.
So, yeah, maybe it's okay to take a break from the newsletters that are offering programs that aren't meant for me in this moment. I can bless and release them, knowing that our paths will cross again if it's meant to be, and I can be thankful for the heart-check that their authentic sharing inspired within myself.