Sananga: Introductions

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Night #1

I laid there with the small, cold bottle in my hands, contemplating my intention for this initial meeting with sananga. With the lunar eclipse happening that day, I knew this was a good time to release. I thought about my grandpa’s funeral earlier that day and how my interactions with family had shown me that we are all really brothers and sisters — equals — on this journey. Giants and those family members I had worshipped as a kid were just humans — still magical, as humans are — but humans, just like me. I was ready to release the importance — the weight — I had given to other people’s opinions my entire life up to that point and own my sovereignty.

I took a deep breath and quickly unscrewed the bottle’s dropper. Since one does this with her eyes shut, I was having trouble with the dropper and didn’t know if I had actually managed to get any drops in the corner of my closed eyes instead of the side of my face where I could feel some of it trickling. So, I dabbled some more. Once I could feel the drops where they belonged, I thought this is it! I opened my eyes and blinked quickly to disperse the liquid over the surface of my eyes. After an initial flash of discomfort, the real…. is agony the right word?… set in. I thought, What the f*** have I done? Were my eyes melting in their sockets? My breath was sucked from my body, I sat bolt upright, and I saw a flash of light. I laid back down against the pillow and found to my surprise that I was breathing, in and out slowly, through the pain. My body knew what to do. It was so crazy intense those first few moments, but I could tell after that initial shock that the pain was definitely decreasing.

I tried to think back to my intention and release into the discomfort. I didn’t see any supernatural visions or feel any disembodied euphoria, but I did begin to feel quite relaxed in the wake of the ebbing pain. If someone has felt monster menstrual cramps or a toothache or some other pain that has demanded one’s entire attention while in its grip and then the cramp releases or the pain medicine starts kicking in and you feel that quiet lull in which you feel tired and still and peaceful — then that may give you an idea as to how it felt for me.

This first session with sananga has not convinced me of its benefits, but as I’ve been told, this is a relationship to be built over time. That’s why I am willing to do this 21-day dieta. I’ve heard the benefits are not always felt in the middle of the sananga experience but is felt more indirectly as its medicine ripples out and touches parts of your soul.